Absolutely Funny Jokes

A man goes into a bar with a small box. He asks the bartender, "If I
show you the neatest thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender says, "Sure, but I have to warn you, I've seen a LOT of
things in my time."

The man says, "Yeah, but you've never seen anything like this." So he
opens the box and there sits a little man at a piano, jamming away. He
plays Bach, he plays Beethoven, he plays it all. The bartender is
impressed, to say the least.

"That IS the neatest thing I've ever seen! Where did you get him?" the
bartender asks.

"Well, I was walking on the beach, found this lamp and rubbed it, and a
genie came out and granted me a wish," the man said.

The bartender eyes the lamp. "Do you think I could have a wish, too?"
he asks.

"Sure," says the man. So the bartender rubs the lamp, the genie pops
out, and the bartender says, "I want a million bucks."

POOF! The bar is filled with ducks. They're flying around, they're
crapping on everything, they are EVERYWHERE.

The bartender yells at the man, "Why didn't you tell me that genie wasn't
worth a damn?"

The man replies, "You don't REALLY think I wished for a twelve-inch
PIANIST, do you?"