Absolutely Funny Jokes

Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest.
The first has no arms. The second no legs.
And the third has no body, just a head.
They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all
in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but
the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank
straight to the bottom.
Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can
still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides
he had better dive down to rescue him. He picks up the head, swims
back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool,
where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering. Eventually the
head catches his breath and shouts:
" Three fucking years I've spent learning to swim with my fucking
ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some fucker puts a
swimming cap on me"